I stumbled upon a cool little video recently. It's from Jenna McCarthy. Not Jenny McCarthy. Yeah. I had to get that one straight myself! Jenna McCarthy is the author of "If It Was Easy They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living With and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married" which gets points for a great title even if it isn't a great book. (I haven't read it yet so I don't know!)
http://www.ted.com/talks/jenna_mccarthy_what_you_don_t_know_about_marriage.html
I have a heart for this issue because of the mistakes and errors I've made myself. But every marriage doesn't have to fail. In fact, success is predictable. "50% of marriages end in divorce" is what I call a lying statistic. Why? Because it is NOT 50% for those who do some basic things. Here are a few of her suggestions (with my commentary) on how to have a successful marriage. Love her insights! Buckle up. She is blunt!
1. Wives, keep yourself more attractive and thinner than your husband. There is science to this. I promise! And before you get mad at me, get mad at her if you want to. I'm just telling you what she says.
2. Focus on the positives/praise-worthy moments. I've written about this recently. There is (according to research) an ideal praise-to-criticism ratio. We have to learn how to catch each other doing something right. I remind my fellow men of God this all the time.
3. Husbands should help out domestically. This leads to more/better sex and happiness at home. It turns out that washing a few dishes goes a loooooooong way to help and heal a marriage.
4. People who smile in photos divorce less often. The eyes are the windows of the soul. Perhaps this is more pertinent to the singles, but it is no less true. Look at photos. You can see whether they are hard-wired for happiness or grief. Agree? Disagree?
5. Watching romantic comedies causes relationship dissatisfaction. You have to learn to free yourself from the fantasies.
6. Divorce is contagious. The people with whom you spend your time matters A LOT! You have to be intentional to place yourself in the company of those who are striving to make it. Quitting too soon becomes a habit. You can catch that attitude. Get around those who are happy and know how to work through it when they aren't. Everything could hinge on this.
I've also come to understand that you must work to keep the "love bank" full. Small kindnesses, gestures, non-sexual touch are all ways to do this. (Guys, even if Valentine's Day doesn't mean much to you, it probably means something to her. A unique Valentine's Day gift for her can go a long way!)
If you need help changing the way you see some things and yourself, join my Relationship Readiness Group. You'll love it as study together with a particular focus on how to prepare yourself for love and healthy relationships! If YOU need this kind of help, join this group.
Remember this, too, as a bonus idea... A well-timed gift can work wonders! Don't get caught forgetting important dates.
Blessings!
~Mark Anthony
Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful. All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com Phone: 281-846-5720 Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/ Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/ Click HERE for information on Mark as a speaker or presenter and HERE to learn about coaching programs to help you realize your potential and live more prosperously!
