How to Be a Woman Worth Finding Pre-Order!!!

I am releasing this in conjunction with my next HUGE "Be Worth Finding" Conference Call and I wanted to give you a chance to pre-order now at a special offer price of just $4!!!  The regular price is $10 but all of my friends and supporters here can get ahead of the crowds and take advantage of this price.  I am only doing this for a short time for sure!

(By the way, you can learn more about this awesome LIVE conference call by CLICKING THIS LINK and then REGISTERING HERE for instructions for joining the broadcast!)

This is the most common question I get by far!  "Mark, what is a good woman?  What does she look like?  How does she act?  How can I become a woman worth finding?"  I knew the best way to answer this question for you was to put together a complete teaching on it, so that's what I've done!  I will show you what men of God are looking for and look at it all through the best lens of all - the Word of God!

Be warned!  This program will challenge you!  Don't listen to it unless you want to change!  Don't listen unless you want to be more blessed in your relationships!  I want you to pre-order NOW via PayPal.  It only takes a moment.  I am asking you to do this because I want you help getting the word out to the world as soon as we complete our upcoming broadcast.  Here's the link again:

Now, I have to say that if you haven't purchased your copy of my other audio teaching, "10 Things to Consider About a Man" you really need to get that, too!  It will bless you and help you learn what a real man of God looks like, acts like and talks like!  Check this LINK!

Be sure to subscribe, share and leave your comments below!

Read More

But Is Pornography Adultery?

I'm going to have to say no. Pornography is the sin of sexual temptation run wild and you, man, have to guard your eyes and heart before it leads you places you don't want to go...potentially costing you everything you truly value. And I mean EVERYTHING! Check out the graphic on my other post! Pornography addictions are costly. Too costly. If you see yourself going down that path, steer away now!

But my question isn't whether pornography is lust or whether it's sin. The question is whether it's adultery.  Should a woman feel justified in divorcing a man who is involved in pornography?  It is bad. Very bad. Not good. I am not saying pornography is okay.  However, I know a woman who left her husband because she caught him watching porn. He admitted to never having slept with another woman and she believed him but she said "It's the same thing!!!" and proceeded to kill her marriage.  Hearing that made me cringe and sad at the same time.

You might argue that he killed it by going to that website. I say she committed the greater sin.  I didn't say pornography wasn't a sin. But is lusting after a woman the same as wrecking one or more households because you two slept together? NO! This is an example of the logic of "I thought about it so I might as well do it." in action. Don't fall into that trap.

I'm not calling pornography good. It is bad for sure. However, it is very different than laying down with another person. That is MUCH HARDER for a couple to recover from! In the scenario above, the husband repented, asked for forgiveness and offered to get counseling. She filed for divorce.

Most bible teachers say sexual intercourse outside of marriage is proper grounds for divorce. Is watching pornography acceptable grounds for divorce? Before you say "yes" to this question and call it adultery, I ask you (even women) to be honest about how many times you've looked at another person with lust, but got convicted, repented and never acted on it. If you say you WOULD file for divorce over adultery but MIGHT NOT over pornography, you are saying they are NOT the same.

All I'm really saying is you have to allow for some grace. I think women penalize their husbands too much not realizing or understanding that

• Consuming pornography is normally just a symptom of a bigger problem and an opportunity to talk and redevelop some intimacy and...
• Men are much more visually stimulated than you think by a factor of 30X and he has not seen it as the kind of betrayal YOU see it as and...
• You are not extending the same grace you want extended to you in other areas of your walk. 

Pornography addiction is a major problem, but it is recoverable. And it's not the same as adultery in deed any more than a woman's failure to submit to her husband is automatically grounds for divorce. If you need help with sexual temptation, please contact: http://newlife.com/emb/

Be sure to subscribe, share and leave your comments below!

Read More

Yet Another Way Pornography Destroys.

I am hearing from a lot of men who are feeling absolutely inadequate and like it is impossible to please a woman. I think this is a real opportunity for ministry! But I can't do it alone.  If you are involved with a man, you (as a woman after God's heart) have a real opportunity to minister to the man to whom God has assigned you! That's all I'll say. Sowing and reaping. Sowing and reaping. Sowing and reaping. I really don't know what else to say. I know that you will be blessed if you become a blessing.

Often, when I write this way, the instinct is for several people to reply "Well, what about me and my needs?!" I hear you loud and clear. But you can only be responsible for your own actions. A part of having faith in God is having faith in your relationships to. Even when I post on He Who Finds A Wife, I never let guys respond with "WHAT ABOUT HER???" You have to be responsible for your own obedience to the Lord's commands first and foremost.

The real problem, I think, is pornography. Men see that material and begin to compare themselves to the 2% of men who are enormous size-wise. Those images never leave our minds.  I think this is an area where women can truly minister to their husbands. I mean TRULY minister. It is needed. I talked to several WISE women I know. All talked about skill, technique and foreplay as being the most important things. A few talked about the need to feel "dominated" in regards to a man being sexually aggressive. In other words, it isn't about size.  But I know some great men who are deathly afraid to marry because they think they can't or won't measure up.  They are terrified that their faith, financially stability and love won't matter to a woman.

Here is what one wrote to me. She is a woman who runs two counseling centers for women:

"Mark, Considering a lot of misinformation out there, I want to share both my educational and personal understanding:

1. The “G” spot is only about three inches in, thus if taught correctly, a woman could orgasm unlimited amount of times, literally with something the size of a middle finger.
2. A woman’s vagina is between 3-4 inches deep. 
3. Exceptional large men cannot insert their entire penis…this can easily be seen in even porn. 

Now, as a woman who works with women. Over and over again we find that the thrust is not the key in sexual satisfaction. Being a person who is a seeker of knowledge, I am sure you know a lot about the need to stimulate the variety of erogenous zones in a woman. What you may not know is that “surrender” plays such a key role in a woman’s sexual satisfaction, and the sits squarely on her need of feeling secure. Many women, and men seek all kinds of intensity of sexual play in hopes of getting that high, but the high doesn’t originate in the size, shape, or position as much as it does in the mind. 

And I hear this over and over again with women. They want to blame everything else, but look at their own inner wounds. So, to recap, whether women admit it, or even know it, size does not matter. Technique and relationship is the biggest key in sexual ecstasy."

I got about 30 similar responses from women of various ages and backgrounds. They all said virtually the same thing. Now, maybe you should be more vocal about sharing this with the man you love!?

Also, guys, just leave pornography alone.  It isn't worth it.  Why involve yourself in something that is going to destroy intimacy, productivity and personal peace on top of being sinful?  If you need help, check out Every Man's Battle for some great resources!

Thank you for your honesty and patience! Be sure to subscribe, share and leave your comments below!

Read More

To Move or Not to Move for Love?

A overheard a man pose a question to a forum recently: "Would any of you ever consider relocating to give a relationship a chance? Or would you want that love interest to move where you are?" It was asked to an audience of mostly women so I was intrigued to hear the responses because the topic really hits home with me.

Almost on cue, a young lady responded "I am EXTREMELY close to my family. If I am not within driving distance, it's a problem. I most certainly would not move."

After a little bit of passionate back-and-forth from people are arguing the pros and cons and after having watched so many of my friends marry, stay married and some divorce, I have to go with the whole "leave and cleave" model as the most ideal approach even if it comes to a new couple establishing themselves in a new city.

My thinking is straight-forward.  A little distance can be the best thing to help keep the "family of origin" out of the relationship because the husband and wife are the nucleus of the new family now. Prioritizing the family of origin is a marriage killer. Blood should NOT be priority over the marriage unless you're planning on that being a short marriage. It is wise to consider where you have roots because it makes holidays and family emergencies (and finding babysitters!) easier to manage, but I also understand that people used to travel across entire continents to start new lives.

Mainly, I see people trying to hang on to the old while grasping something new and it doesn't work. Leave and cleave is in the Word and it still works. But what about your support systems? You develop new support systems. (Proverbs 27:10 talks about this.) It's hard work, but in the end, you'll be better for it. 

I think a MAJOR problem is people want the new without letting go of the old. I've met wonderful women who will say "I'm never leaving Atlanta no matter what!" or "I must be able to eat dinner with my daddy every Sunday!" and even men who allow their mothers to tell them what to do in their own homes (notice the scripture talks about the man being the one who does the leaving). People have to get this. You have to leave the old behind for the new to thrive!

This is personal to me because I've lived it by proxy. My folks are going on forty-three years and I know a major part of it was because of leaving and cleaving. Not long after getting married (a few months?) my mom was on a plane to Germany at 19 years old to go meet her husband at his new post in Fulda, West Germany. Those things force each other together. You NEED each other for a while and that's a good thing! People these days try to set up lives where they don't NEED each other and wonder why relationships don't work. You are supposed to need each other. This whole "You only need GAWWWD!" stuff is brand new in the world and mostly only taught by manipulative preacher pimps anyway. To this day, if you ask even cousins about what's going on in their house, they will only know the very little they are told. My parents understood how to keep others' opinions out.

Side Note: NO MOVING WITHOUT A PROPOSAL, LADIES!!! I can understand that you might not be married and you want to get an apartment and begin setting up a life in a new city, but NO MOVING UNTIL YOU HAVE A RING ON YOUR FINGER AND NO SHACKING AT ALL!

Being willing to move is just a small part of it. It's mainly about being willing to build something separately together. The more you hold back, the more will be held back. The more you give her, the more you will receive.

Be sure to subscribe, share and leave your comments below!

Read More