Having Needs vs. Being Needy. What's the Difference? ~ The Christian Relationship Blog

Can you tell the difference between a person expressing legitimate needs vs. being needy? Everyone has needs and you can't deny that. But when does it cross over into unhealthy territory?

First, let us define the two terms: needs are physiological or psychological requirements for the well-being of an organism. Food, water, belonging are all examples. Neediness is when a person requires more than usually expected or due. In other words, their needs are being met on a reasonable level, but they still want more.

If you are in a relationship with a needy person it can feel suffocating. I've had people express that they can give and give but never seem to be able to give enough. Remember, this isn't to say that we all don't have legitimate needs. Trying to act as if we don't, is just as bad. Here are some things I've seen as examples of healthy needs vs. unhealthy neediness. There are tons more.

Unhealthy: Compromising your core values to be someone you're not.
Healthy: Changing and maturing to be easier to relate to and with.

Unhealthy: Isolating yourself from other relationships including same-sex friends and family.
Healthy: Enjoying the company of your significant other and valuing each moment you get together.

Unhealthy: Demanding they remain in contact with you all the time by phone, text or email.
Healthy: Thinking about your partner and being concerned for their well-being but trusting them when they're away.

Got any others? Next time I'll write about how to overcome being needy. I'm seeing a lot of people struggle on both sides of this issue. I feel like we should talk about it a little. What are some other signs of being needy?