Learn to Forgive or Stay Stuck. Your Choice! ~ The Christian Relationship Blog

So much anger, bitterness and unforgiveness out there. No wonder so many people struggle in their relationships. They are constantly trying to make everyone else pay for past hurts.

I believe I have the gift of encouragement. Hard earned, by the way. I've been betrayed, gutted like a fish emotionally and left for dead, spat upon literally and figuratively, abandoned, used, wasted, lonely, broke and damn near homeless because of combinations of my own mistakes and those who sought to hurt me. You think I can't relate when I say "Forgive" and don't know what I'm talking about? Please.

I think part of my demeanor suggests to people that I haven't been through much - and certainly not what you've been through. False. But I still say "Forgive" because that's where the power is. That's where restoration begins to happen. You don't forgive. You stay stuck. Simple.

But how, you ask? How can you forgive? How can you trust?

Here are some thoughts...

Understand that you have committed sins more heinous towards God than those that have been committed against you and He has chosen to forgive you anyway.
Understand that you have often hurt people as much (or more) than those who have hurt you. You don't consider it as such, but they do. You've chosen to justify your actions and vilify theirs.
Place a value on what you believe was done to you. If you "price" it out, you will find that it is usually not as costly as you think. Did they destroy your life? No. You're still here.
Understand that the person who hurt you can't restore you anyway. Release them from the debt. Releasing them releases you.
Stop holding one person's sin against everybody else. That's as unrighteous as me hating others because they resemble you.

Is it a process? Maybe. I don't tend to think so. I tend to think it's a decision. Eventually you will have to either decide to forgive or decide to continue to hold the sins against that person. Ultimately it is your choice to be free or remain captive.

You have to remember that you have an enemy who works overtime to remind you of your past, as well. He will send messages and messengers about your past to try and stagnate you. Sometimes you have to understand that it's just an echo, compartmentalize it as such and remind yourself that you've moved on from that place. It is unreasonable to think memories won't ever come back. In time, the hurt will fade, too.

Blessings. I'm standing with you!