Have you ever noticed how you can see sex on TV morning, Noon and night these days, but it's ALMOST NEVER BETWEEN MARRIED PEOPLE???
The saints need to stop being so scary to talk about stuff! This is hilarious to me because (1) I've never advocated sex outside of the marriage context on this page and (2) half of y'all are doing this stuff and more already anyway!
Why have we let something God designed become totally taken over by the devil? Husbands need to be more caring and affectionate and wives need to be more adventurous... at least that's what I hear ALL THE TIME so there must be some truth to it.
I'm just trying to free some people from guilt and from having other peoples' morals projected onto them. The BIBLE is silent in so many ways. We have to let the Holy Spirit in us speak sometimes. There is a lot of latitude for people to make their own decisions about what's permissible between them as a husband and a wife. They should both be happy about those choices.
The most important thing is to talk before marriage so that there is no mismatch in expectations.
When you start to feel like they could have real, honest long-term "the one" potential you've got to risk these kinds of conversations. It could go horribly. I understand. However, you've got to know where each other stands and sooner is better than later. These conversations are MUCH HARDER after marriage because now you both feel trapped. Gotta do it when you start to feel like he or she could be the Mr. or Mrs.
One Warning: Drawing a lot of lines and restrictions is one of the WORST things a married woman can do, in my view, and YES, I mean that will everything in me! Most husbands aren't going to see a "no" as anything except a rejection/a boundary and THE LAST THING a husband wants are boundaries. They are interpreted as disrespect. They are seen as a lack of availability to him. A husband wants to feel like HE OWNS that wife. Bottom line. Therefore, I think wives should be very, very careful and quite judicious with drawing boundary lines and if it's going to be an issue YOU OWE HIM to make those lines clear BEFORE HE EVEN PROPOSES TO YOU!
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