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"10 Things to Consider About a Man...

What if someone finally told you everything you needed to know, understand and look out for before deciding whether you should get a man any of your heart and time? What if men had a guide for self-improvement to know when he's finally "relationship ready"? Well...guess what? "10 Things o Consider About a Man..." is here for you!!!

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31 Days to Healthier Relationships

At the very core of our being, men and women are DIFFERENT! This is not a bad thing but it requires knowledge and understanding to bridge the gap between the two genders. And through this bridge we can become most effective as individuals and as couples. Check out our 31 Days to Healthier Relationships Series here!

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How to Stop Being So Needy


Last time we talked about having needs vs. being needy and it sparked some good dialogue. Remember: neediness is when a person requires more than usually expected or due. In other words, their needs are being met on a reasonable level, but they still want more. If you're the kind who has been called needy more than once, let's face it. There might be some truth there. If everybody calls you a donkey, buy a saddle, right?  Some of you reading this are... needy!

Side note: It is OKAY to need people.  That is a good thing!


A few thoughts about how to stop being needy:

  1. Be courageous about being authentically you no matter what.  There is someone out there for the real you - the one you're sometimes tempted to keep hidden.  You are valuable just the way you are.  
  2. Know your core values and don't compromise them.  There are plenty of ways we all need to change and grow.  There should be some things about yourself you don't change.
  3. Give yourself permission to want things.  Even in your wanting, have gratitude.  Be grateful for the ways your needs are being met and the efforts of others to meet them.
There is nothing wrong with needing love, touches, tender words, time with loved ones and commitment.  You just have to be clear about what your needs are and sober about when they're being met and when they're not.  Being needy is all about failing to realize that you're requiring more of people than they can give and not honoring the needs they're already meeting.


Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
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For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html


Should Divorced Exes Get Back Together?


I'm posting this for a friend.  She asked me why divorced exes seldom, if ever, get back together.  Research shows the number to be somewhere around 4% to 6% of couples remarrying one another.  In my friend's mind, the kids would be better off and that makes it not only okay but necessary.  Aside from those couples who divorce and marry each other two or three times, why doesn't it happen more?

I'm not sure why it doesn't happen more but offered her these thoughts:

  • Your Ex has to want to restore the marriage.  This rarely happens.
  • Both people have to grow and mature. This rarely happens.
  • The growth people experience needs to be in the same direction - It normally isn't when they're in different environments, churches and circles of friends for months or years. Practically-speaking, many times exes begin to become strangers after the divorce.
  • There is usually some recognition that you should have/would have chosen someone else the first time around.
  • In some cases, there is so much acrimony that you really do need a fresh start.  Dealing with an angry Ex becomes a daily reminder of failures and can be too much weight for a new relationship to carry and reinforces poor patterns.


Every credible marriage counselor will tell you that you don't "go back" but you should start over learning that person again.  Dr. Phil might say something like "You can't ever put the toothpaste back into the tube."  At some point you look at the person and determine that you would all be better off going another way.

Most important, in my view, is each person has to be able to truly forgive. Most Believers only pay lip service to this. I've done enough lay counseling (a lot more than most people think) to tell you that 80% of most peoples' current problems are related to their unwillingness to forgive someone in their past.

What do you think?  Should exes come back together?  If so, how can they do it?  Have you ever remarried your Ex?


Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html


Having Needs vs. Being Needy. What's the Difference?


Can you tell the difference between a person expressing legitimate needs vs. being needy?  Everyone has needs and you can't deny that.  But when does it cross over into unhealthy territory?

First, let us define the two terms: needs are physiological or psychological requirements for the well-being of an organism. Food, water, belonging are all examples. Neediness is when a person requires more than usually expected or due. In other words, their needs are being met on a reasonable level, but they still want more.


If you are in a relationship with a needy person it can feel suffocating.  I've had people express that they can give and give but never seem to be able to give enough.  Remember, this isn't to say that we all don't have legitimate needs.  Trying to act as if we don't, is just as bad.  Here are some things I've seen as examples of healthy needs vs. unhealthy neediness.  There are tons more.

Unhealthy: Compromising your core values to be someone you're not.
Healthy: Changing and maturing to be easier to relate to and with.


Unhealthy: Isolating yourself from other relationships including same-sex friends and family.
Healthy: Enjoying the company of your significant other and valuing each moment you get together.


Unhealthy: Demanding they remain in contact with you all the time by phone, text or email.
Healthy: Thinking about your partner and being concerned for their well-being but trusting them when they're away.


Got any others?  Next time I'll write about how to overcome being needy.  I'm seeing a lot of people struggle on both sides of this issue.  I feel like we should talk about it a little.  What are some other signs of being needy?


Mark Anthony McCray helps people live on PURPOSE, achieve higher PERFORMANCE and experience true PROSPERITY. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing and forward this to a friend if you found it helpful.

All material © Copyright, Mark Anthony McCray unless otherwise noted! He can be reached in the following ways: Mark@LiveBIGDieEmpty.com
Phone: 281-846-5720
Twitter: @LiveBIGDieEmpty
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LiveBIGDieEmpty
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/markanthonymccray/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103149858138414160703/posts
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/markanthonymccray
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/markmccray/

For more information on Mark as a speaker or presenter check out http://livebigdieempty.blogspot.com/p/about-mark_29.html